so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
