he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
