"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
