I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
