I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
