PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
