i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
