I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
