did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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