I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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