hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Everyone says I win the strip club
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
