when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
