We're facebook friends in real life
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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