i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
