people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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