i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
