these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
