I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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