I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
