Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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