Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
