He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
whose parrot is this?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
