your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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