I'm going to jail i love you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
