so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
my liver is dry heaving
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize