we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
