He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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