I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
