Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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