i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
