So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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