$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
How external is "for external use only"?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
