I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
