Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
