We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
