I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
