so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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