ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
