I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
