If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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