shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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