yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
