i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Of course I have a pirate flag
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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