Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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