Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
