Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
