it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
