The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
