dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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