wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
