I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Your penis caused this!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
