i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
